In early March, I had shared the press release issued by the Northern Arapaho Business Council announcing the two newly appointed MMIP advocates, Dara Jefferson and Christie Wildcat. At the time, Nicole Wagon was one of the Facebook administrators of the MMIP Wind River Facebook page. After I had shared the post, Ms. Wagon took it down. I was going to share it again, but I knew that she would just take it down again. So I deleted her as a Facebook administrator and re-posted the release.
I was surprised to receive a (certified) letter on Thursday, March 20 from Ms. Wagon and others stating that if I didn’t turn over the MMIP website, Facebook page, and the rights to the MMIP Wind River logo, they would take legal action against me, that I had 72 hours to respond, and that “failure to comply within this timeframe will result in immediate legal action, including but not limited to:
Filing a police report for unauthorized access and cybercrime under Wyoming state law
Pursuing civil litigation for conversion, breach of contract, and damages.
Reporting on the matter to domain registrars and social media platforms to reclaim our assets.”
I responded within four (4) hours of receipt of the letter. None of their threats were effective or enforceable, as a "contract" was non-existent, and I held the ownership and rights to all three assets. In short, I said that MMIP is for everyone, not just a choice few. I also said that the origins of MMIP Wind River began with the association and participation in the Wyoming MMIP Task Force, and that I was saddened that they resorted to threatening me rather than sitting down and talking with me.
They never responded back. Since then, several folks have made me aware of Ms. Wagon’s behavior and have learned that I’m not the only one who has been a target of her intimidating antics.
Bottom line through this whole experience? I will not be bullied.
The duplication of this "new" MMIP group is just one example of what is not only troubling our tribe, but the entire country…creating division instead of unity, confusion instead of clarity, hindering instead of helping, being critical instead of considerate, exclusive instead of inclusive. What is even worse…bullying is the exact opposite of what MMIP is about! In fact, those things are at the very root of the problems and defeat the purpose of what the tribes of this nation and the world are trying to achieve with the MMIP movement.
We should be welcoming the seats at our tables, not excluding and bullying people out of them. MMIP is not a clique, club, or gang. It is not about one person’s story, but all stories. MMIP is you, is me, is everyone. It is about standing with and recognizing all who are and have been affected by crime and violence. It is about working together, standing together, helping each other...not being duplicitous and tearing each other apart.
I am saddened that Ms. Wagon chose to act out of spite instead of in a spirit of togetherness and solidarity. I am saddened that she reacted by digging her heels in, rather than walking down a path towards understanding and healing. I wish that Ms. Wagon wouldn’t minimize, discredit, or dismiss the time and resources that I and several others spent as volunteers in helping her with past MMIP marches and events. I wish that Ms. Wagon had the courage to communicate with me directly and in a more positive manner, instead of threatening, backbiting, and gossiping…all things that are not respectful nor conducive towards or definitive of the spirit of MMIP.
I don’t have a loved one who has been missing or murdered. I ache and pray constantly for those who grieve the loss of their loved ones, including Ms. Wagon and her daughters. But what I can say is that I myself am a survivor of domestic violence and suicide, and I have many friends and family members who are also survivors of abuse, violence, and sexual assault. I work in an industry where our EMTs care for victims of violence and abuse, and I know how those types of calls affect them. Crime and violence are at the very root of the MMIP problem, and those are the things and people that need to be targeted, not those who are trying to help!
Given this, my approach for MMIP is about pro-prevention, education, effective and organized “boots on the ground” operations, and healing resources for the families of victims. I am about working with Tribal Victim Services, supporting the tribal-appointed MMIP advocates, and partnering with law enforcement agencies, groups, and organizations that have the resources to help achieve these goals and objectives. I am about being inclusive, not exclusive in this effort…those who truly know me (not spread gossip about me) know that I am and have always been about good teamwork. I am fortunate enough to be a part of several boards and organizations that understand and embrace that concept.
Ms. Wagon, you still have a seat at the MMIP Wind River table, whether in the capacity of just yourself or this new group you’re forming. Whether you choose to or not to work with MMIP Wind River is completely your choice, but know that we value teamwork and positive, productive partnerships and associations in order to accomplish our goals. Gossip, bullying, obtrusiveness, and disrespect will no longer be tolerated. Those who resort to those tactics are no better than the ones who perpetrate the crimes that we speak out against.
Be better, not bitter.
Carol Harper
MMIP Wind River
UPDATE: Since the posting of this blog piece, there have been several questions. Answers are below:
Q: Why did you take away MMIP Wind River from Nicole Wagon?
A: We did not take away MMIP from Ms. Wagon. If anything, Ms. Wagon took MMIPWR away and refused to give it back. So we took it back. As was said, MMIP is for everyone.
Q: Why are you fighting with each other? We all be working together.
A: Agreed and again, MMIP is for everyone, not just a choice few. We have included a link for Ms. Wagon's group on the MMIPWR website and have shared her event on Facebook. We do not discount Ms. Wagon's history and efforts in the MMIP movement; awareness and visibility are very important. But we all shared roles and responsibilities in the cause, and yes, we should all be working together and partnering together. The problem that started this whole thing was Ms. Wagon's approach and threat against MMIPWR and disrespect shown for the Northern Arapaho MMIP tribal-appointees. This is counter-productive behavior and has no place in the spirit of the MMIP movement.
Q: Why does MMIP 307 say it's a new name?
A. It's a new group formed by Ms. Wagon. We don't discount her own mission of visibility and awareness. However, MMIP Wind River does still exist. Our goals and objectives are more geared for pro-preventative and solutions-oriented efforts. Both missions are important.
Their claim as being "A new name, the same fierce mission' in the context of their group replacing MMIP Wind River, this is simply untrue. MMIPWR is still alive and active. This is why we are making this clarification, not in the spirit of division and perpetuating the very problems that MMIP contends with every day. Their approach to stifle others' efforts and contributions to the MMIP is clearly not conducive to the spirit of the movement. In fact, it is counter-productive.
Q: What are you doing for MMIP and how can I help?
A. Please visit our website for updates, information, and announcements. We know that folks want to be involved, but don't have a lot of time to dedicate. But there are also many who do, and we want to help in providing opportunities throughout the year for education, pro-prevention and volunteerism.
Q: Can I have my own MMIP event, and would MMIP Wind River help me?
A. Absolutely! We are all about partnerships and the promotion of any efforts by individuals or organizations that are supportive of the MMIP mission. Visit our website for more information.
Q: Is MMIP a part of Wind River Cares?
A. No. MMIP partners with Wind River Cares Tribal Victim Services and other agencies and organizations that will work together in pro-prevention, education, and assisting in providing resources that are helpful and relevant to the worldwide MMIP movement.
Q: Nicole did a lot of work, and now you just took it away from her, and that's not right.
A: Yes, NIcole has done a lot of work on MMIP and continues to do so with her new group, MMIR307. After she deleted the press release, it was clear that Nicole did not want to work with the new tribal MMIP appointees. As was stated, they chose another route and decided to threaten me through a certified letter (and most recently, the police). This is all a very unfortunate course of events, as I would have gladly sat down and talked with all of them about MMIPWR and worked together, and I told them this in my response to them. But it was clear that they didn't want to work with me, either. That I will work with the MMIP appointees and partner with others is a good thing. I am passionate about pro-prevention, victim trauma, and educating the public about the reasons why people go missing and/or are murdered. Nicole is passionate about activism and connecting with families who have fallen victim to injustice. Both missions are important. There is no reason why we cannot all work together. I believe that is what's right.
MMIPWindRiver.org
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