Without revealing too much, let's just say it's been several decades since I was a teenager! Things were very different back in the 80s (okay, so now you know, lol). There were no cell phones, no laptops or tablets, no Internet, no WiFi, no social media, no Google, no Grok or ChatGPT, no dating sites. A guy had to muster up enough courage to ask me out on a date, face-to-face, or call me on a landline telephone. I also had an overprotective brother (bless his heart) who would screen my dates for his approval, and often insisted that I double or group date with him and/or his friends. Kind of annoying, but hey, I was his little sister. I knew that he was looking out for me and cared about who I was with and where I was going.
My parents set curfews; I can't even tell you how many times I was embarrassed when my date would bring me home...if we sat in the car for too long, I knew I'd eventually see my mother opening the curtains and peeking through the window (I swear she had a stopwatch or something)!
At the Teen Dating Violence Awareness event at CWC last week...besides being very well attended, one of the things I noticed was a lot of cell phones. They've become such an integral part of our lives, and our youth are constantly inundated with so much information at their fingertips...all the time, every minute, every second of every day. They are also exposed to harmful content, predators, harassment, bullying, and many, many privacy risks.
It might appear from my "back in the day" talk as if teen dating violence never happened back then. But that is so very untrue. The subject of date rape or violence was rarely, if ever, talked about, mainly because of the social "norms" of the day. It was a dark, taboo subject. As if not talking about it meant it didn't happen? No, it definitely happened, and there are survivors of such who have been silent about their trauma for many years/decades...and even remain silent to this day.
It is not an easy subject to talk about, but as I listened to Governor Gordon and Tribal leaders speak with genuine care and concern, it gave me hope as I watched many in the young audience put down their phones and respectfully listen to what they had to say. Their questions for Tai Simpson were valid and relevant. Their applause and cheers showed appreciation for what they heard that day.
But I couldn't help but also think about how many in that audience were presently experiencing violence or abusive relationships. Who will help them find their voice? Who will advocate for them? Who will be their light, their compass? Who will show care and concern for them, even if they sit in their silence?
As I've said many times, it starts in the home. It starts with us, as the adults in their lives. It is the responsibility of our elders, parents, grandparents, guardians, teachers, coaches, counselors, and trusted friends. It starts with standing up for victims and helping them find their way and their voice through all the noise and chaos. It starts with truly listening without judgment, caring without criticism, and showing genuine love without condition.
This month, I hope we can show love, not just through our words, but through our actions. Through examples of what healthy friendships and relationships really are. Through actually being the change we want to see in our youth, guiding them down good roads on their individual journeys in a world that is becoming more and more complex and ever-changing.
Carol Harper
Project & Outreach Coordinator
MMIP Wind River
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I want to put out a reminder about the GRIT Conference April 20-22 in Billings, Montana.
For information and to register, visit: uprisingwyo.org/grit. Hope to see you there!
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