MMIP Wind River: It's Not Funny, It's Tragic

It's been extremely difficult to find the words about the recent tragedy claiming the lives of two cherished tribal members. The shock and trauma that has surged throughout our Tribe has been devastating. My heart greatly aches, and my most sincere condolences go out to the families and loved ones affected by this tragedy. Heart shattering. Life shattering.

But oh, I have plenty to write about alcohol. As my heart beats throughout the grief process and skips from shock to downright anger, I look at all of the efforts of so many people, programs, organizations, agencies, and task forces who have dedicated their time and prevention work on alcohol/substance abuse and impaired driving. Incidents like this one make me wonder, has their work been in vain? Why does it have to be this tragedy, this wake-up call for people to finally realize that the demon of alcohol is out of control and plaguing our tribes and communities?

This is what I mean by the awareness and action factors. Sure, there is plenty of awareness. But when it comes to actual responsibility and accountability...?

From time to time, I've seen posts on the Northern Arapaho Tribe's Facebook group...some folks joking around about "Per Cap-Red Cap" day, or "BYOB" (beer) to a pow wow or event. Listen up: It wasn't funny then and it's not funny now. Alcohol is an abuser and a murderer. You think our EMTs want to keep on arriving on-scene of yet another assault, battery, stabbing, shooting, or suicide attempt due to alcohol/substance abuse? You think they want to see another seizing child or teenager in the back of their ambulance? You think they want to see an infant being born with fetal alcohol syndrome? You think they want to watch patients slowly die of cirrhosis, liver disease, or other chronic organ failures? Do you think our EMS crews are laughing at the sh** they have to see and deal with every day? I was in an ambulance coming back from a standby event in Dubois, and we were behind a drunk driver swerving and driving completely in the other lane...the oncoming car had to pull off onto the shoulder to avoid a head-on!

Think again. It's not funny...it's sad, tragic, and infuriating!

If you want to know the truth about your tribe or community, ask a first responder!

Vehicular Homicide is Murder

The next DUI Task Force meeting is in July, and I still may not be able to find the words to say, but then again, I won't have to. As we all will look at the stats and data presented to us (of which this incident will surely be a part of)...actual solutions continue to be tried and challenged while our communities are still at the mercy of those who drink and drive. It is murder! They choose to drink themselves into oblivion and get behind the wheel of a car. Being that the penal systems are already breaking and broken...and though I'm satisfied that the charge was vehicular homicide (not vehicular manslaughter)...is that enough, given the amount of repeat offenders? Accidents just waiting to happen? Trafficking groomers use "free" alcohol and drugs to entice their already-addicted victims, enticing them to proceed down roads of darkness and death. In my opinion, that's attempted murder!

A driver's license is a privilege, not a right. My rationale is that, if you've been charged with a DUI the first time, there should be a stiff probation period and the license should be suspended until the conditions of rehab/soberness are met before they ever get behind the wheel of any vehicle ever again. But a second time? That's it, they're done! A lengthy prison sentence and no driver's license for the rest of their lives (I could go futher as to require that there should be a condition of soberness for our elected officials, but that's an unrealistic expectation.) And those who sell alcohol should also have a huge responsibility to their communities. (Hey, if you don't feel like voting for the 3/4-cent that supports the ambulance service, how about an indefinite alcohol tax?)

Who is listening? Who will join in the fight against the beasts that continually stalk and prowl around our homes, streets, neighborhood, schools? MMIP Wind River is about the root causes of the missing and murdered, but this is one that continually plagues us, right in our faces! What's it going to take? Another death? I hope and pray that what we've presently experienced will make a lasting impression about the future of alcohol and substance abuse in Wyoming. It is time...past time...to deal with this critical issue.

And if you have a problem with alcohol, get help NOW! Today, this minute. Go to the programs that Wind River Cares and White Buffalo have to offer. Go to an AA or Celebrate Recovery meeting. There are people who care! I'm one of them, and I know there are many, many people...both seen and unseen...who also know and care about the severity of this problem, and are dedicated to helping wherever and whenever they can in dealing with the beasts, both seen and unseen.

It begins with one step forward...for all of us.

Carol Harper
Project & Outreach Coordinator
MMIPWindRiver.org

From Memorial To The Loved Ones We Have Lost to Alcohol or Drugs

MMIP Wind River Update, June 2026 ~ On Victim Trauma & Healing

Disasters and tragedies happen in our tribes and border towns, every day. The messaging that is generated and shared by MMIP Wind River are about awareness and prevention: Awareness of the issues and problems, and the efforts by who come together and provide resources and services to guide towards hope and healing and who care about the state of our communities and tribes. It can be a collective mindset, and my two main areas of focus on the subject of victim trauma are derived from disasters (man-made or natural) and crime-related incidents.

But what is victim trauma? By definition: Profound physical, emotional, and psychological response to a distressing event or crime. It overwhelms a person’s ability to cope, and affects their safety, mental well-being, and daily functioning. Victim trauma can be found in all cases of emergencies and disasters, and our first responders are trained in how to help and treat those who are affected and suffering. House fires, wildfires, floods, vehicle accidents, the impact or aftermath of crime and violence...the immediate to first 24-48 hours are the most critical.

After the breaking news and social media posts diminish, and life and 'business-as-usual' resumes and we go about our daily lives...we can often get complacent and have the attitude of "Well, that will never happen to me or my family or friends." My own life experiences, along with education and trainings in both EMS and with the Red Cross continually show me that when you wake up in the morning, you never know how a day will go or end. Disaster and crime can happen to anyone at any time, in any place.

One missing person might not seem like the definition of a disaster to some folks...but it most certainly is to the families and loved ones affected and traumatized, the ripple effects continuing on for the rest of their lives. Sometimes those who survive it didn't choose it. You cannot dismiss the shock, suffering, loss, and the grief of the trauma experience.

Surviving to Healing...

Life is never the same after a disaster or traumatic experience. It's hard to know what to say to someone after a tragedy strikes, as shock and grief affects everyone differently. And often the survivors don't really want to have conversations about the 'stages of grief', or hear the passive "I'm so sorry, let me know if you need anything"...or have to witness news articles or the faces of their loved ones (or even theirs!) plastered all over social media. That can sometimes make it even worse, because the wounds which are desperately trying to heal are being repeatedly opened.

The challenge? Those immediate to first 24-48 hours! For victim survivors of domestic violence, assault, abuse, suicide/suicidal ideations...it can be very difficult to know how to get on a path of healing, instead of slipping backwards and gravitating towards cycles of insanity and darkness. To get to a point of courage and understanding that life is precious and worth living. To get out of the toxic environments, to even get out of bed in the morning! To get to a point to where fear and doubt is replaced with hope and confidence. It can take a lot of time before one's journey can begin again, and the good pathways aren't always clear...the roads are always wrought with hills and valleys, cliffs and potholes, bad actors and predators on the hunt.

I have yet to see anyone bouncing out of a hospital ER shouting, "I'm great, I'm healed, it's a miracle!"  Healing takes a lot of time, and depending on the severity, a very long time.

Healing to Thriving...

Eventually, all wounds do heal, and we're left with scars to remind us of what we've survived, what we've (hopefully) learned, and how we can become stronger with each passing day.

It also takes time, attention, and grace on the part of those who actively and genuinely care. It takes presence, listening, encouragement, consistency. I just can't say enough about the people, advocates, groups, and organizations whose mission it is to do just that: actively and genuinely care. Read their mission statements; browse through their sites and social media. Reach out; ask how they can help, or what you can do to help. Donate and support those missions and resources. Include them in your own network of care; refer those who might be in need of their programs.

MMIP Wind River cares! There is a Report-Tiplines page that can guide those who have loved ones who are missing to properly submit a report or tip to agencies and relevant organizations. There is a Resources page with a listing of groups and organizations that can help survivors in getting the support they need. To get even just one person on the right path again can be a benefit a whole tribe/community in a good way, and these resources and programs exist to help. We're stronger together, as a team!

Lastly...

June is Elder Abuse Awareness Month. When we are young, we are taught to respect our elders. As their spirits draw nearer to our ancestors, how we treat our elders speaks volumes about ourselves as a people. Neglect and mistreatment has no place when it comes to those who are wiser and have lived to see so many more years/decades than us. So I would like to close with the following:

“Consider the advice of your elders.”

In Native American tradition, elders are not valued simply for their age,
but for the lives they have lived in close conversation with the earth,
the seasons, loss, resilience, and time itself.
Their words are not meant to command —
they are meant to guide.
Not because elders are always right,
but because they have been wrong,
and survived the lessons that followed.
Every line on their face carries a story.
Every pause in their speech holds memory.
They have watched generations rise and fall,
learned when to speak, when to listen,
and when to let the wind carry the answer.
To listen to an elder is to borrow wisdom without paying the full price of pain.
It is to walk a path already mapped by experience,
rooted in respect for the land, the people, and the spirit.
In honoring our elders,
we honor the past —
and protect the future."

Unknown

Carol Harper
Project & Outreach Coordinator
MMIPWindRiver.org
E-mail: MMIPWindRiver@gmail.com

WyoFind & MMIP Wind River: Right Where We Stand...and sip!

When I saw Cowboy State Daily's article, Wyoming Coffee Shops Putting Photos Of Missing Wyoming People On Coffee Sleeves, the first thing I thought was: "This...is...brilliant!" So I shared the post on MMIP Wind River's Facebook page and before I knew it, Stacy Koester (founder and president of WyoFind) reached out to me and asked if I'd like to get the program going in Fremont County/WRIR.

Absolutely! I put Stacy in touch with Amanda Henry of Brown Sugar Coffee Roastery, who had hosted UprisingWyo's Bust the Myths human trafficking presentation back in January, and then met with Ivan Posey, who said that he would help coordinate efforts with The Grind at CWC. And there it was...the start of something wonderful in networking our county and tribal communities in the MMIP cause.

Partnerships and teamwork with organizations such as WyoFind is what MMIP Wind River is all about... seeking ways to increase community awareness is a part of our mission in "Strengthening Collaboration". In my experience, keeping that daily awareness going long after MMIP Awareness Day (May 5) is over and done, has been a challenge. But WyoFind came up with (once again) a brilliant way of not only keeping the conversations going, but to help and support the families and relatives who are grieving their missing loved ones.

I've created a page off of the MMIP Wind River website for information on how to submit photos and information of missing persons to WyoFind. What they need for the sleeves (or stickers) is the photo and name of the missing person, the date they went missing, the name of the agency that is handling the case, and a phone number. You could also submit your information on their Submit A Tip page/form, and they can follow up with you for a photo.

For local coffee shop owners who want to get on board, you can either email me at mmipwindriver@gmail.com (Here's a little 'perk'...I'll come to your coffee shop and buy a cup of coffee!)....or, you can go to WyoFind's page and scroll down to "Become a Coffee Shop supporting this campaign" and enter your information.

And if you want to make a difference, right where you stand? You can be a part of the WyoFind team! Support WyoFind with a donation, or they even have an Amazon Wish List where you can browse through the items they need to cover the costs of creating the sleeves/stickers. Also...there are currently 18 coffeehouses that are a part of this (once again) brilliant campaign that brings awareness to those who are missing in Wyoming. So get out and about, buy a cup of coffee, support your local busineses, and spread the word!

Strengthening collaboration. Providing resources. Improving response. I would say all three elements of our mission statement are acheived in our partnership with WyoFind, our local businesses, and the people they serve. And what better way to keep the conversations going than over a nice cup of coffee, right where we stand...and sip!

Carol Harper

Project & Outreach Coordinator

MMIPWindRiver.org

Email: mmipwindriver@gmail.com

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WyoFind is a registered 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization (EIN 99-2419834) dedicated to raising awareness for Wyoming’s long-standing missing person cases. Every product purchased directly supports our Face on a Coffee Sleeve Campaign, which places the faces of missing individuals on coffee sleeves and drink cup stickers across the state. Through community partnerships and volunteer efforts, WyoFind works to keep these cases visible and ensure that families of the missing are never forgotten.

Right Where We Stand: Being A Good Person

From the day we're born, the faces that surround us as we innocently look up from within our blankets and buntings are the faces that we learn to love and trust. As we grow, we learn more as our circles expand to our relatives and playmates. As our circles widen when we attend school and community activities...we learn about our teammates, group/club members, and of course, friendships.

What we learn about people is instilled in us from our youth into adulthood and impacts our future relationships. But our innate innocence and naivete gets lost along the way as we eventually come to realize that there are...well, just not very nice people in the world. We're taught "stranger-danger" or not to take candy (or anything!) from a stranger. But in a world where the lines between who is good or bad are blurred into gray areas, sometimes we have to learn the hard way.

In my last blog, "Another Day", I touched on 'Online Platforms'. Additionally, however...one of my take-aways from the GRIT Conference was about how only 9% of trafficked victims are actually strangers.

Here is that pie chart again:

Very small slice re: strangers. It's about the people we already know.

The Masquerade

It doesn't help that both of the terms "good" and "bad" are subjective, and it can be difficult to be objective when it comes to those who wear masks...pretending "nice and friendly" on the outside, but have ulterior motives and hidden agendas. I've run across quite a few imposters in my lifetime, some of who were already major players and had the art down to a tee. Others were more like "stranger changer"...like chameleons, who would subtly change their 'colors' to fit various situations and circumstances. And then there are those who have the patience to play the long game with a friendly approach, having the appearance of goodwill...but all the while waiting for the opportunity to strike at a moment of weakness.

"No matter how many times a snake sheds its skin,
it will always be a snake.

Remember that before allowing certain people back into your life."

There are those who are nice to you only because they want something from you, and trafficking groomers aren't the only ones who wear these masks. There's a big difference between actually being a genuinely good person versus merely acting like one. So how can we teach our younger generations who they can trust, if their own families and friends can't even be trusted?

I'm asking this question, because quite frankly, I don't have an answer. For me, I've had to learn the hard way, because for a long time I was way too naive and trusting of the wrong people. I've even allowed them to kick me when I was down, laughing at my misfortune. Even when I thought I had learned my lesson, it would happen again. It takes a long time to build trust once it's been compromised. But that's how I eventually learned...after almost 60 years of life, I've gained better discernment and wisdom as to those who wear the masks, and those who are the real deal.

My circles are much tighter now. I maintain boundaries between personal, professional, and spiritual relationships. I've had to sacrifice familial ties and some long-time friendships to maintain those boundaries, but I had to do it in order to take care of myself and be healthy and happy. I'm much more discerning and aware, and try to surround myself with good people who are thoughtful, caring, and good team players. And those good people refer me to more good people, and they refer me to more good people, and so on and so on. And if there are bad apples in the barrel, they will eventually be revealed. The Creator knows the truth.

Right Where We Stand

"All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..." It's interesting how applicable this statement is, and how a 16th century playwright could be so spot-on about how the world works (almost prophetic, given today's social media). Virtue and vice, moral and immoral, conflict and resolution...though the battle lines between good and evil have been skewed, one truth remains: Everything begins with a choice.

The choice to find the good. The choice to choose the good. The choice to be good. The choice to do good. The choice to defend the good. As infants and children, others make the choices for us. But as adults, the power to be good and do the right things have always been in our own hands.

Here are things you can do to be a good person, right where you stand:

Assess yourself. When you look in the mirror, do you like who you see? I remember times where I was so racked with depression, grief, injustices, and anger at what was done to me, it kept me in a victim mentality that clouded my judgment and I ended up backing my own self against a wall. I felt frozen and helpless. Not being sober didn't help; it only isolated me and kept me in a loop in a dark place. Once I started improving myself and let go of the thoughts and vices (and people!) that weighed me down, I was able to find the value in myself and plant my feet on a good road, a better road...one step at a time.

A note: It's so easy to do the blame game. Blame others, blame our circumstances, blame the powers that be, blame the breaking and broken systems. Blaming entities outside of ourselves keeps us in that prison of the mind: "There's nothing I can do about it." But I also remember those in history who had a lot less and had it a lot worse, but found the strength within their own selves to rise above their circumstances, why can't I? 

"Make good choices." We have a paramedic that says that to the crews when they go off-shift, and I like it! It's just a simple reminder, a mantra, to carry with you throughout your day. Sometimes we get through the day down the good road, but sometimes we don't. We all make mistakes, but don't give up! Forgive yourself. Apologize to those you may have wronged, and start anew. Recognizing and admitting our mistakes can set us on the good road again. 

Surround yourself with good people who are team players that encourage you, make you a better person, and have the same goals. You'll know them when you meet them. I'm often cordial and friendly to people I don't know, but inside I might be thinking: "There's just something a little off about this person." Listen to your gut. If you can't quite put your finger on it, be aware of that feeling and create your boundaries. But also know that there are good people who might be struggling with bad things in their lives, too. Maybe they don't have the capacity to make good choices. Remember your own lessons and guide them to the resources and people who can help. Heed the wisdom and advice of elders who have experienced the tests of time. 

"I will not allow anyone to walk in my mind with dirty feet".

Gandhi

Lastly...once you learn, go and do. Understand that there are people in this world who do want to help and support you in your journey; be respectful to them for helping. In the movie, The Matrix, there is a quote by the character Morpheus: "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking it."  Once you know what to do, do it. Sometimes the signs and directions may not be clear, but stay on the good road! Do not deviate, and don't get sucked down the old roads you've already been on. You've already been there; you already know the people there. But you don't have to live there anymore.

There are good folks at White Buffalo Recovery, and I highly recommend attending their Mending Broken Hearts program. Their next session is on June 3-5, and if you can't make it to this session, always check their Facebook page for when the next session scheduled. See the information below.

The Creator knows our hearts and minds, and everything begins with a choice. Look within; you can decide who you are and what kind of person you'll be...right where you stand.

Carol Harper

Project & Outreach Coordinator

MMIPWindRiver.org

Email: mmipwindriver@gmail.com