MMIP Wind River Update: April 2026

I am very excited to attend the GRIT Conference next week! It looks like it's going to be a fantastic experience, and I'm gearing up to learn as much as I can. This year's theme is "Advancing Victim Engagement and Trauma Response", which will be perfect for the development of our Victim Trauma program, and continue the conversations we started back in January!

Earlier this month, Ivan Posey called me into his office up at CWC and told me that he had the pleasure of hearing Tyler Schwab, founder of Libertas International, speak to members of the Wyoming Legislature in Cheyenne. He was so impressed that he was able meet with Mr. Schwab afterwards, and get him come here to Riverton and speak at CWC on Tuesday, April 22 from 4-6PM! (see flyer below)  I will definitely be there in spirit, and hope that you all will find some great information that will impact our tribes and border towns in a good way.

Spotlight: Doya Natsu Healing Center

"Every Journey Begins With One Step"

As a part of MMIP Wind River's mission in "strengthening collaboration" and "providing resources", I would like to shine the spotlight on Doya Natsu Healing Center for the month of April. They have online support groups, the "Every Journey" newsletter, (read April's newsletter, it's really good!)...the Journey podcasts...plus they have events and activities where you can get involved! There's an Earth Day CleanUp next week:

So many resources, all in one place! Be sure to visit their website often, doyanatsu.org.

Healing doesn't happen overnight. Sometimes we have moments where we find ourselves frustrated with too many expectations, or sitting in the middle of a myriad of our own thoughts, wondering: "What now?" Maybe we feel confused, sad, angry, depressed...or maybe we feel numb and just don't feel anything at all. Those are times when we are still quite vulnerable; because, despite what one might say to you ("You gotta be strong...buck up, buttercup...you got this..."), there are just days you're worn out and tired of trying to be resilient, and no motivational pep talk is going make you feel any better. "Maybe I just can't today..."

And that's okay! It's okay to rest. It's okay to let go of the things that don't matter and keep the things that do. It's okay to go your own pace, take maybe just one step out and 'do the thing' when you're ready. I had a very wonderful circle of friends who recognized some familiar things in me because they had recognized them in their own selves as well. We were all at different places on our journeys, but we were all able to talk about it, help each other channel through the challenges together. There came a time where I knew I couldn't sit on my little island any longer, and had to be shown how to let go...and I knew, in time, it was going to be okay. And eventually, it was!

As a victim survivor, I had to reprogram and relearn a lot of things, because there were times where I'd slip back into these "modes" where I felt I had to ask permission for everything, plus I would be over-apologetic. My daughter to this day still gets on my case about how many times I say "I'm sorry" for no reason. Obviously, some things take more time to heal than others, but that's okay, too. It doesn't make me weak. I've come a long, long way, and that's what I can celebrate and joy in. That, and knowing I'm not alone and can walk the journey with those who also started theirs with that one step!

Carol Harper

Project & Outreach Coordinator

MMIP Wind River

MMIPWindRiver.org

E-mail: mmipwindriver@gmail.com

IYKYK: On Bullying…

This month I wanted to touch on the subject of bullying as a precursor to April’s National Child Abuse Prevention Month. It can be a difficult subject to address when you go a bit deeper into all of the many stories and prevention campaigns, but I believe that it is introspectively critical when it comes to the initial approaches in dealing with such a widespread, centuries-old issue.

Bullying in childhood…

Young children are innocent, and might not know what bullying is, or even know if they’re being bullied. But even babies are aware of when there is arguing and fighting, and react by crying. It is innate; they know how they feel and learn when something’s wrong through their senses and what is happening in their environment.

A child knows when someone is ‘being mean’ to them; they hurt inside. They may retreat, put their head down and cry. They may run away at the risk of being called names or laughed at. Then there’s ‘fight or flight’…they might get tired of being pushed around and stand their ground and fight in defense, but then both can get into trouble. Then, even when the adults at school or on the playground separate the two, they might not get a true picture of what actually happened. The bully may lie and say that the victim started it; the bullied child may tell the truth and not be believed, or might continue to retreat or be silent. The mere concept of bullying can begin as complex from early childhood, pre-teen/teens and into young adulthood.

To understand the childhood bully, there should be an understanding of why they might be doing what they do. Perhaps they’ve witnessed bullying in their own homes and have learned it from family members. Perhaps they’ve been abused and hurt, and feel just as hurt inside, but act out towards others in the way they had learned from the adults in their lives. Children are smart; they know what they feel. But they have just as much trouble processing the trauma in their personal lives as to the trauma they can cause in others.

Bullying in adulthood…

With adults, bullying can be either obvious or very subtle. They can be in a state of constant criticism or dismissiveness…behind backs (gossip) or even in front of others. They constantly interrupt or talk over others at the table or in a room, dominating discussions or conversations. The only voice to be heard is their own. They can target and make sarcastic comments or jokes (“I’m just joking, you can’t take a joke?) Gaslighting is a popular tool for bullies. But if it doesn’t feel funny to you, it’s not.

Jealousy can also be a common thread; bullies can act out against someone they think is prettier, more handsome, smarter, more talented, more sociable, more dynamic, more privileged. They can be envious of someone else getting more attention than themselves. They like to steal ideas from others and call them their own. They may feel intense hurt inside that things are unfair and unjust, but approach those feelings with anger and vitriol rather than diplomacy and kindness, and convince others to join them in their fury. They may use blackmail as a fear tactic. They might also pretend to listen, but then ultimately decide to do it their way without consideration. In this situation, the “crabs in a barrel” analogy fits. Who gets out first? Nobody.

Adult bullies are anywhere and everywhere…in business and the workplace, in organizations and volunteer groups, in community and tribal settings. It’s a “dog eat dog world” where intimidation and control are what is used to undermine the thoughtful and judicious. They create cliques; exclude, rather than include. Some might even defend bullies: “Well, they’re not that way with me,” or “That’s just the way they are,” or “They mean well, they’re just passionate.” This doesn’t help because it only validates the bully, shifting their behavior as acceptable instead of unacceptable, thereby minimizing the voice of the victims.

It’s more than just saying “no”...

The obvious answer is to say “no” to bullying. But there’s more to just saying it, as to actually doing something about it. First, it has to be recognized in our environments as unacceptable behavior. Hurt and anger can run deep, and it takes a person to recognize those behaviors in their own selves. Positive energy can be infectious, but so can the negative.

Alcohol and drugs can complicate things, but even if one is sober, bullying behavior can be deeply programmed from early childhood. No one can change or make another person to be more kind. The change has to come from within, and it takes time to change a habit or behavior and get on a new path towards healing.

Seeing through the symptoms and finding the root causes can help, but ultimately, standing up to the bullies might eventually require intervention. Calling bullies out on their behaviors when they even subtly appear can be risky, because their walls instantly go up and they can get very defensive and dig their heels in. The spotlight is now on them. Situations can then get awkward and tensions escalate.

My own approach to bullies has been to walk away and not participate further. In doing that, I’m making a statement with action, that I don’t tolerate how or what is being said or done as acceptable. This takes away the control and power of the bully and exposes them for who they really are. But this also has risk, because then they can (and will) spread lies, gossip and rumors to tear down one’s character behind their backs. It seems that will happen, no matter what…especially since it is an effective tool in a bully’s toolbelt. When they start throwing sand in the sandbox, you can always take your toys and walk away!

These days with social media, gossip can become rampant and damaging, to the point that victims of bullies become depressed. They might turn to alcohol or drugs to try to suppress the hurt; they might have suicidal ideations. They might feel lonely, thinking no one believes in them. Or, they might even go back and continue being controlled by the bully’s narratives. Adults have just as much trouble processing the trauma in their personal lives as to the trauma they can cause in others.

See a familiar pattern? That’s because bullying is a huge factor in the cycle of abuse!

Forgive, but don’t forget.

I was a victim of abuse. It wasn’t until my adult years that I got a phone call from my abuser, and they broke down in tears, asking forgiveness for all the things they did to me. I readily forgave them, and from that moment on, our relationship took a turn for the better. Why? Because we broke the cycle together. I will never forget the abuse. But that they themselves one day recognized and admitted what they had done? It brought us to a crossroads to where the first steps of healing and building a better relationship could take us both down a better road. Forgiveness was the catalyst to change!

Not all situations are like that. There are some things in our minds that are unforgivable. In those cases, I can push the reset button and forgive in my own heart in order to move forward, because quite frankly, you have to do it for your own sanity…your own mental and spiritual health. You still have to recognize the bullies for who they are, but you can be wiser and more discerning of who you let into your Circle. Are they kind to you and others, or do they backbite and gossip? Do they bring peace, togetherness, and a spirit of teamwork...or create division and strife? Are they serving others, or serving themselves?

Find your tribe, your Circle. It’s okay if it’s small, but at least it can be with like-minded people who are more kind and caring. That circle can begin to grow as you reach out to those who treat you with mutual respect, those who genuinely listen (pass around a Talking Stick!), and those who are inclusive. Evidence will show that those who are builders of peace through word and deed are the ones who walk their talk.

You know how you feel. And if you know, you know.

Carol Harper

Project & Outreach Coordinator

MMIP Wind River

MMIPWindRiver.org

MMIP Wind River Update - March 2026

Lately, I have been researching and learning a lot on the subject of human trafficking. There's so much there! With my mind geared towards pro-prevention, I am also seeking on how to be aware and educated on what we can do, right where we stand in our own tribes and communities.

This is why I'm attending the the GRIT Conference, April 20-22 in Billings, Montana. I not only want to learn how to be equipped with the tools needed to aid and support our local law enforcement, but to effectively initiate conversations and keep them going.

Our children and youth are precious, and should be treated as such. They, too, need to be taught to be aware, need safe places to be, and also given the tools they need to not only survive, but thrive. Out of all the voices, theirs are the most important of all.

SOS International sent me their "Until All Are Free: Trafficking Prevention Toolkit", which is an excellent resource. Take a moment to read it through...read the stories. The one thing we can all do now, right where we are, is on page 11:

Even if you're not sure, call. Every little bit of information can help!

_____

Staying grounded...

Many times I'm told: "You can't pour from an empty cup." In the crazy, busy world we live in, I find that I can often overlook important things which are right before my eyes, or get easily distracted from what I should be focusing on. I sometimes brush it aside, calling it my "ADD" moments, but the truth is, I'm not being as mindful as I should be. Mindful of my steps, my thoughts, my words, my actions.

Taking time out to regroup, refocus, and regenerate is not only necessary, it's critical! Our minds are what control our bodies. As Spring approaches, we will see buds on the trees, more birds and animals appearing, the sun lingering longer in the sky. Spring cleaning is not just for houses, sheds, garages, yards and gardens. It's a time for a renewal of our own selves.

Pray and meditate. Go for a walk. Go to a sweat, a cedaring. Carry a stick or bundle of sage with you; feel it in your pocket. Play an instrument. Listen to the wind. Feel the sun on your face; watch it rise and set. Look up at the stars and thank the Creator. Don't overextend yourself; it's okay to say "no" to the outside world and commune with your spirit.

These are things you don't have to "schedule" into a calendar. You know when you need them.

_____

This Wednesday!

MMIP Wind River Update: February 2026

February is Teen Dating Violence Awareness Week.

Without revealing too much, let's just say it's been several decades since I was a teenager! Things were very different back in the 80s (okay, so now you know, lol). There were no cell phones, no laptops or tablets, no Internet, no WiFi, no social media, no Google, no Grok or ChatGPT, no dating sites. A guy had to muster up enough courage to ask me out on a date, face-to-face, or call me on a landline telephone. I also had an overprotective brother (bless his heart) who would screen my dates for his approval, and often insisted that I double or group date with him and/or his friends. Kind of annoying, but hey, I was his little sister. I knew that he was looking out for me and cared about who I was with and where I was going.

My parents set curfews; I can't even tell you how many times I was embarrassed when my date would bring me home...if we sat in the car for too long, I knew I'd eventually see my mother opening the curtains and peeking through the window (I swear she had a stopwatch or something)!

At the Teen Dating Violence Awareness event at CWC last week...besides being very well attended, one of the things I noticed was a lot of cell phones. They've become such an integral part of our lives, and our youth are constantly inundated with so much information at their fingertips...all the time, every minute, every second of every day. They are also exposed to harmful content, predators, harassment, bullying, and many, many privacy risks.

It might appear from my "back in the day" talk as if teen dating violence never happened back then. But that is so very untrue. The subject of date rape or violence was rarely, if ever, talked about, mainly because of the social "norms" of the day. It was a dark, taboo subject. As if not talking about it meant it didn't happen? No, it definitely happened, and there are survivors of such who have been silent about their trauma for many years/decades...and even remain silent to this day.

It is not an easy subject to talk about, but as I listened to Governor Gordon and Tribal leaders speak with genuine care and concern, it gave me hope as I watched many in the young audience put down their phones and respectfully listen to what they had to say. Their questions for Tai Simpson were valid and relevant. Their applause and cheers showed appreciation for what they heard that day.

But I couldn't help but also think about how many in that audience were presently experiencing violence or abusive relationships. Who will help them find their voice? Who will advocate for them? Who will be their light, their compass? Who will show care and concern for them, even if they sit in their silence?

As I've said many times, it starts in the home. It starts with us, as the adults in their lives. It is the responsibility of our elders, parents, grandparents, guardians, teachers, coaches, counselors, and trusted friends. It starts with standing up for victims and helping them find their way and their voice through all the noise and chaos. It starts with truly listening without judgment, caring without criticism, and showing genuine love without condition.

This month, I hope we can show love, not just through our words, but through our actions. Through examples of what healthy friendships and relationships really are. Through actually being the change we want to see in our youth, guiding them down good roads on their individual journeys in a world that is becoming more and more complex and ever-changing.

Carol Harper

Project & Outreach Coordinator

MMIP Wind River

MMIPWindRiver.org

I want to put out a reminder about the GRIT Conference April 20-22 in Billings, Montana.

For information and to register, visit: uprisingwyo.org/grit. Hope to see you there!